March 3, 2014
“Cult of Personality” hits and Chicago erupts! But Paul Heyman comes out instead. Heyman holds out the microphone for the crowd as they’re chanting CM Punk. Heyman says he deserves louder than that, and Chicago obliges him. Heyman sits down a la CM Punk in the center of the ring. He came tonight to tell the story of a Paul Heyman guy, the guy that was never truly wanted in WWE. The guy the WWE thought was too small to main event Wrestlemania and didn’t have the corporate look and had too many tattoos. The guy who would rebel against the system and The Authority, and the WWE didn’t want him from day one and they don’t want him right now. He’s here to tell the story of the Heyman guy that had the balls to say what no body else had to say. The guy that was born and raised and lives in Chicago.
This is Heyman’s pipe bomb about CM Punk… who is not here this evening. Heyman pauses as the crowd starts to chant for Punk again. He says if Punk were here tonight he would be doing what he always did and proving his detractors in the world and proving why he is the best in the world. Why isn’t he here? Why won’t anyone talk about CM Punk anymore? There is someone to hold accountable. He’s here to risk his job security and point the figure of blame… at each and every person in the crowd.
When Punk was with him, Punk was the longest reigning WWE Champion in the last 25 years. Then all the people took Punk from Heyman. They said they would give Punk their love, their respect, their affirmation. How far did it get them? They didn’t just take Punk away from Heyman, but themselves. He also blames someone else. He blames The Undertaker. The downward spiral began when they couldn’t beat the streak at last year’s Wrestlemania. Paul Heyman wants revenge. How do you get revenge against The Undertaker? How do you kill what’s already dead? He wants to see the streak taken away from The Undertaker, and there’s only one man on the face of this planet that can do it, his best friend in the world, the beast incarnate, Brock Lesnar.
Brock Lesnar makes his way to the ring. Heyman wants to show us what The Undertaker is capable of and shows the replay of the contract signing last week. Lesnar calls for the mic and says unlike some people he doesn’t make claims he can’t back up. He believes Undertaker is scared of him and that’s why he attacked him last week. Shawn Michaels, Triple H and CM Punk couldn’t beat the streak. At Wrestlemania XXX, Lesnar conquers the streak.
Mark Henry’s music plays as Brock and Heyman try to make their way to the back. Henry backs them down the ramp, but Lesnar leaps off the stairs onto Henry. Henry counters and takes it to Lesnar until Lesnar rams Henry into the steps. Lesnar hits Henry in the head with the steps. Lesnar’s destroying the announce table as Henry tries to climb to his feet. Lesnar scoops up Henry for an F-5 through the table!
Tag Team Championship Match:
The Usos vs. The New Age Outlaws ©
Jey and Roaddogg will start this off. Roaddogg takes it to Jey early on and tries to slam Uso’s head into the turnbuckle, but that doesn’t work so well. Jey gains some momentum, but Roaddogg avoids the contact in the corner and sends Uso crashing into the buckle. Roaddogg tries a cover, but only gets 2 and tosses Uso outside and makes the tag to Billy Gunn.
Billy rolls Jey back inside and continues to ground Uso. Another quick tag made by the Outlaws and Roaddogg backs Uso into the corner. Uso turns the tide on Roaddogg and fires off on him. Roaddogg reverses a whip into the corner and takes out Uso with a clothesline. Roaddogg tosses Uso into his corner and tosses Jey over the top to the floor as we head to commercial break.
Back from commercial, and Jey Uso is battling to his feet. Roaddogg makes a quick tag off the ropes as Jey tries a sunset flip, and Billy kicks Jey right in the face. More quick tags from the Outlaws as they continue to isolate Jey Uso. Jey tries an enzuiguiri and misses but lands on his feet and catches Roaddogg on his second try, and both men are down. Both men manage tags and Jimmy Uso comes in to clean house. Billy reverses an Irish whip. Uso ducks a clothesline and kicks Gunn in the mid-section. Gunn reverses another whip, but Uso takes Roaddogg off the apron.
Uso catches Gunn with a Samoan Drop. Roaddogg tries to run in, but Uso nails him with a butt buster. Roaddogg falls back to the corner and Uso nails him with a Rikishi splash. Gunn tries to attack out of the corner, but Jimmy ducks a clothesline and heads to the top for a spinning senton and a near-fall.
Uso heads to the top, but Roaddogg is up for a distraction. Uso takes Roaddogg off the apron. Gunn tries to roll up Uso and hooks the tights, but only gets 2. Uso heads for the ropes, but Gunn catches him with a tilt-a-whirl slam and another near-fall. Gunn pulls Jimmy to his feet and tries for a Fame-Asser. Uso avoids the Fame-Asser and tags in Jey off the ropes as he flies over the top onto Roaddogg. Gunn misses a big boot. Jey nails Gunn with a Superkick and heads to the top. Uso hits the Splash for the 1-2-3!
WINNERS: And New Tag Team Champions, The Usos!
Cesaro vs. Big E
The bell rings and they lockup. E sends Cesaro to the ropes, drops down and tries a leapfrog but Cesaro catches him and hits him with a back breaker. Cesaro nails with a series of uppercuts and tries to send Big E into the corner. Big E reverses the whip and tackles Cesaro and catches him with a belly-to-belly suplex. Big E heads for the ropes, but Cesaro launches him over the top. Swagger tries to attack out on the floor, but Big E hits him with a right. Back inside, and Cesaro sends Big E swinging. Swagger runs in out of nowhere and hits Big E with a Swagger Bomb for the DQ.
WINNER: Big E via Disqualification
After the match Big E hits Cesaro with a Big Ending as he argues with Zeb and Swagger.
Six Man Tag Team Match:
The Shield vs. The Wyatts
The match hasn’t even started and the crowd is chanting, “This is awesome!” Dean Ambrose dives through the ropes onto Luke Harper and Erick Rowan. Roman Reigns nails Bray Wyatt with a Samoan Drop and tosses him to the floor. Meanwhile, Seth Rollins dives at Harper in the corner as the bell finally rings. Harper trips up Rollins on the second rope and tries a superplex, but Rollins 360s and lands on his feet! Rollins sends Harper to the outside and takes Rowan off the apron. Rollins takes out Harper over the top on the outside and runs back inside to take out Rowan on the other side! Harper tries to attack Rollins through the ropes, but Rollins kicks him in the face from the floor.
Rollins heads to the top. Wyatt tries to intervene, but Ambrose comes in for the save but it’s knocked Rollins from the top. Harper follows Rollins out to the floor and rams him into the barricade as we head to commercial.
Back from break, and Harper has Rollins on the mat with a side headlock. Rollins battles to his feet but Harper levels him with a forearm off the ropes. Harper takes a little too much time to taunt The Shield on the apron and Rollins nails Harper with a heel kick. Ambrose and Wyatt are about to get into it on the floor and Reigns has to separate them and Rollins has no one to tag.
Rowan splashes Rollins in the corner. Rollins hits Rowan with an STO into the turnbuckle out of desperation and both men are down. Harper runs in and takes out Reigns with a big boot. Rollins makes a tag to Ambrose who takes down Rowan and unloads. Rowan catches Harper off the ropes with a clothesline. Ambrose ties up Rowan in the ropes and dropkicks his knee. Ambrose takes down Harper wit ha dragon leg screw and applies a Figure Four. Harper runs in and double stomps Ambrose to break up the hold.
Roman Reigns runs back in and takes out Harper. The action spills to the floor and Reigns launches Harper into the crowd. Back in the ring, Wyatt flattens Ambrose with a chokeslam and unloads several right hands and stomps his face. Wyatt tosses Ambrose into his corner and tags in Harper. Harper unloads on Ambrose in the corner and nails him with a dropkick. Harper stomps and smothers Ambrose’s face with his boot in the corner and tags Rowan back in, who picks up where Harper left off.
Rowan drops Ambrose with a pump handle backbreaker and goes for the cover, but only gets 2. Rowan applies a skull crusher to Ambrose, and Ambrose has to pull Rowan’s beard to make it back to his feet. Rowan sends Ambrose to the ropes and connects on a sidewalk slam for a 2-count. Harper tags back in and knocks Ambrose into the ropes with an uppercut. Harper hits him with another and a third, but Ambrose fires back with a clothesline and both men are down.
Bray Wyatt tags in and takes Reigns off the apron, but that gives Ambrose some time to regroup and DDT Wyatt. Ambrose crawls to his corner, looking for a tag and Seth Rollins hops off the apron and walks away! Reigns tries to bring Rollins back and Rollins is pissed about not having anyone to tag. Wyatt crushes Ambrose with a splash in the corner and a running cross body. Wyatt covers and Reigns is back in for the save. Reigns sends Wyatt to the floor and hits the Samoan Drop on Rowan. Harper tries to run in and a Superman Punch connects on Harper. Reigns takes out Wyatt one more time from the apron with a Superman Punch. Rowan regains his composure, but Ambrose is back up. Reigns clotheslines Rowan over the top. Ambrose drop-toe-holds Harper into the second rope and holds him for Roman Reigns who nails him with the dropkick from the floor.
Ambrose starts to unload on Wyatt with rapid fists and Roman Reigns spears Rowan onto the announce table! Harper is back inside and flattens Ambrose. Harper heads for the ropes and dives through the ropes onto Reigns! Ambrose dives onto Harper, and Wyatt pulls him off and sends him into the ring post. Wyatt rolls Ambrose back inside as Seth Rollins watches from the stage. Sister Abigail connects on Ambrose and gives the Wyatts the win.
WINNERS: The Wyatts
Backstage, Renee Young is with Batista. She wants to know how he’s going to contend with Daniel Bryan tonight. He says the Yes Movement is the dumbest thing he’s ever experienced. He says it’s amazing who’s passing for a Superstar these days. Too many fans read too many comics and watch too many movies and think someone like Bryan can beat him. Guys like Bryan can never beat guys like him.
Fandango & Summer Rae vs. Santino & Emma
Fandango and Santino will start this off. They change their minds, and Summer Rae comes in. Santino tags back in and they keep switching back and forth until finally Fandango blasts Santino from behind. Santino starts to rally back and tries to send Fandango to the ropes. Fandango reverses and catches Santino with a spinning heel kick and a snap suplex. Fandango heads to the top for the leg drop. Santino rolls out of the way and Fandango rolls through. Santino hits a right hand and a stunner. Both men make tags and here come the ladies.
Emma catches Summer with a couple of clotheslines and a tackle. Summer reverses a whip into the corner. Summer charges, but Emma moves out of the way. Emma hooks Summer in a Tarantula in the ropes. The ref has to break the hold. Emma charges Summer in the corner and splashes her. Santino chases off Fandango as Emma applies her submission and earns the win for her team.
WINNERS: Santino & Emma
Sheamus vs. Christian
Christian slaps Sheamus across the face. Sheamus chases Christian to the outside and around the ring, but catches him by the foot and drags him back to the floor and rams him into the barricade. Sheamus hits an uppercut and rams Christian into the barricade one more time before rolling him back inside. Sheamus chokes Christian with his boot. Scoop slam by Sheamus. Sheamus drops a knee on Christian, hooks the leg but only gets 2. Christian reverses a whip and takes down Sheamus with a knee lift. Christian chokes Sheamus in the corner with his boot. Christian pops Sheamus with a right, but Sheamus fires back and clotheslines Christian off his feet.
Christian slaps Sheamus one more time and heads for the ropes. Sheamus catches Christian off the ropes with an Irish Curse for a 2-count. Sheamus tries to send Christian to the ropes, but Christian reverses and ducks his head. Sheamus nails Christian with a kick. Sheamus charges, but Christian ducks and back drops Sheamus over the top. Christian takes out Sheamus with a big baseball slide through the ropes. Christian tries a plancha over the top, but Sheamus just steps away and Christian crashes into the floor.
Sheamus tosses Christian into the steps. Sheamus scoops Christian up, looking to ram him into the post, but Christian slips out and takes refuge behind the announce table as we head to commercial.
Back from break, and Christian’s headed to the second rope. Sheamus counters and sends Christian crashing to the mat. Sheamus heads to the top and Christian shoves him off and out to the floor. Christian heads out to the floor and sends Sheamus over the barricade, into the timekeeper’s area. Christian rolls Sheamus back inside for a quick cover, but only gets 2. Christian stomps away on Sheamus. Sheamus rolls to the apron, makes it to his feet and Christian clotheslines him. Christian starts to toy with Sheamus by choking him with his boot.
Sheamus starts to battle back, but Christian connects with a side suplex. Christian heads to the top for a Frog Splash, but Sheamus rolls out of the way. Sheamus shoves Christian into the corner. Christian kicks Sheamus and heads to the second and leaps. Sheamus catches Christian and hits a fireman’s roll. Sheamus throws a series of rights at Christian and takes him down with a forearm. He misses a second and tackles Christian in the corner. Sheamus misses a Brogue Kick. Christian charges and ends up on the apron for the clubberin’ forearms but Christian fights out. Christian rams Sheamus headfirst into the turnbuckle. Christian heads to the top and leaps, but Sheamus catches and drops him on the top rope.
Sheamus finally catches Christian for the clubbing forearms. Sheamus hits a pair of running high knees. Christian begs off of Sheamus and hits an inverted DDT. Christian heads to the top and connects on the Frog Splash, but Sheamus kicks out at 2. Christian tries the float over right hand, but Sheamus blocks it and brings Christian in the hard way for White Noise. Sheamus charges Christian in the corner. Christian slips through the ropes and kicks Sheamus in the head and Sheamus falls out to the apron. Sheamus hits a Brogue Kick from the apron for the quick pinfall.
Backstage, Renee Young is with Sheamus when Christian attacks him, ramming his head into a steel backdrop.
The Bellas vs. Aksana and Alicia Foxx
Aksana and Brie Bella will start this off. They exchange waistlocks util Brie manages a snap mare and kicks Aksana in the back. Nikki tags in and slams Aksana’s head on the mat before tagging Brie back in. Brie heads to the second rope, gets distracted by Alicia from the apron, and Aksana capitalizes. Aksana makes a tag to Alicia. Alicia repeatedly slams Brie’s head off the mat and tags in Aksana. Aksana slams her head onto the mat and slaps at Brie’s face. Alicia makes another quick tag. Brie starts to rally and knocks Aksana off the apron until Alicia regains control. Aksana tags back in and stomps Brie in the corner. A big double slam out of the corner from Alicia and Aksana leads to Alicia tagging back in. Alicia applies a modified clutch and Brie has to fight out and take Alicia over with a snapmare.
Brie tries to make a tag. They exchange roll ups and Nikki finally tags in and cleans house. Nikki takes Alicia out with a Stunner and a back body drop. Nikki tries for a cover, but Aksana runs in to break up the fall. Brie Bella comes in with a missile dropkick off the second to Aksana. Nikki avoids a running boot from Alicia and takes her out with a Torture Rack backbreaker for the win.
WINNERS: The Bellas
Daniel Bryan comes out and says he loves Chicago because the people have a voice. He says, tonight, we are going to hijack RAW. He’s not leaving until one of two things happens. Either Batista comes down to fight or Triple H comes down to respond to his challenge.
The Authority comes out. Triple H plays the crowd as they chant, “CM Punk!” Stephanie admits she admires Bryan’s tenacities. After all of his losses, she wouldn’t be hijacking RAW, she’d be flat out embarrassed. Bryan says for the last six months he’s been screwed over. Bryan stands unbroken with the people behind him. Bryan wants Triple H at Wrestlemania. Triple H says it’s not going to happen. He wants to know why Bryan can’t accept his failure and his inadequacies. He says he’s going to call it the excuses era. No one says they just weren’t good enough. They blame everyone else and make excuses. The reality is that anyone who failed here is that they just weren’t good enough. Bryan’s reality is he is a B+ player. He doesn’t know why it angers people. B+ is pretty damn good. He says it’s a good spot for Daniel. It’s going to take a lot more than a B+ player to get him to lace up his boots at Wrestlemania.
Bryan says the people understand. Triple H can deny holding anyone down but the people see through his lies. That’s why they chant. He says he does what’s best for business and it’s for the WWE Universe, but they don’t listen to the people. They don’t want to see Bryan or people like him succeed. The only way anyone will get to see it is if Bryan beats the crap out of Triple H at Wrestlemania.
Stephanie pipes up again, saying he’s compelling. Why would anyone listen to the sea of inadequacies. What Bryan doesn’t realize is that they will turn on him on a dime. The only people that won’t, are her and Triple H. Without her and her family none of this would happen. All of this is for him and provided by them. Without them there is no Yes Movement, no t-shirts, no underdog persona. They made him.
Bryan says her delusions of self-importance are admirable. Bryan says she should put on Triple H’s trunks and he can put on Stephanie’s skirt and he and Steph can wrestle while Triple H watches. Triple H says she would whip his ass, too. Triple H says that match at ‘Mania isn’t going to happen. Triple H says he won’t take the bait. Wrestlemania is the showcase of the immortals. Bryan doesn’t measure up. Triple H orders Bryan out of the ring. Bryan says it isn’t his ring. This is the fans’s ring. Triple H clarifies that every thing in the arena, including the people and Bryan, belongs to them. He orders Bryan out one more time. Bryan gets in his face and tells him to make him. Stephanie calls out Kane.
Kane comes down to the ring, but Bryan dives through the ropes on top of him! Stephanie calls out security, and the referees and security come out of the back to pull Bryan off of Kane.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler w/ Aaron Paul
Aaron Paul drives Ziggler to the ring in a new Mustang. Aaron Paul joins us for commentary as Del Rio attacks Ziggler. Del Rio launches Ziggler into the air for a big flapjack. Del Rio takes a minute to mock Ziggler before a double stomp. Del Rio stomps away on Ziggler in the corner. Del Rio charges and Ziggler moves out of the way. Ziggler dives onto Del Rio and unloads several fists and hits the neckbreaker. Ziggler misses a Fame-Asser and Del Rio connects on the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Del Rio misses a running enzuiguiri and Ziggler hits a big DDT.
Del Rio hits an armbreaker and a super kick to Ziggler’s face. Aaron Paul hops up on the table to hype up the crowd and distract Del Rio. Del Rio goes back to Ziggler for Cross Armbreaker, but Ziggler counters into a Zig-Zag for the pin.
WINNER: Dolph Ziggler
Paul Bearer is announced as the latest inductee into the 2014 Hall of Fame class.
Big E vs. Jack Swagger
The bell rings and Cesaro runs in immediately and hits Big E with a Neutralizer to cost Swagger the match!
WINNER: Big E via Disqualification
After the match, Swagger and Cesaro start to argue and Swagger shoves Cesaro. Cesaro tells Swagger they’re even, but Swagger shoves Cesaro again. Cesaro takes down Swagger and starts to do the Swing until Zeb stops him. Cesaro teases the Swing, but Colter tells him to ignore the fans, not to do it to his brother. He lets go and Zeb tells him to help Swagger to his feet. Cesaro pulls him up and Colter wants to cool things down by having them hug it out. They resist and Zeb insists they’re all brothers. They finally hug. We the people.
John Cena comes out to address The Wyatts. Cena starts off by thanking the fans for the warm Chicago welcome. Last week he was injured by the Wyatt Family. After that, the doctors have ordered him not to have a match tonight. Even though he’s not competing, he wanted to come out. The All State Arena has always had a special place in his heart. He’s competed in Wrestlemanias here. Brock Lesnar kicked the crap out of him in this arena. And it wasn’t too long ago that a special someone had a special match with him in this arena. Chicago and him haven’t always seen eye-to-eye. But he’s big on respect and respects the hell out of this city. Even if they boo him out of the arena, he always hears them. He always knows they’re honest. He’s damn sure they’re loud. He’s been listening to the hijack business. He understands and hears them. The WWE Universe wants change. But they need to respect that success in this company is earned and it goes through him. If anyone thinks they’re in the driver’s seat, they’re dead wrong, especially Bray Wyatt. Cena’s given the last 12 years of his life to the business. Ironically, he’s in the same place that he started. He’s doing the same thing now that he did then, standing tall.
The lights flicker, and the Wyatts are backstage. Bray says Cena’s standing out there all alone. He built an empire all around him. Can he feel the energy? Can he feel the people? Cena reminds him of a championship thoroughbred horse that’s been running for a long time. One day the horse starts to slow down and the reality sets in. Instead of waiting for the next finish line, he’s laid out on a slab in the back of a barn. When will the reality set in for John Cena? Mercy is calling him by name. They’re the reaper, and he’s going to put Cena down. He knows what Cena’s really afraid of. The loneliest man on earth is the man who sits alone atop his empty castle. Who will be left for Cena when Wyatt takes it all away? Follow the buzzard.
Lana introduces Alexander Rusev. He stands on his podium and speaks in Bulgarian.
Daniel Bryan vs. Batista
Randy Orton’s going to join us at ringside. The bell rings and Batista easily shoves Bryan across the ring. They tie up and Bryan slaps on a waistlock until Batista elbows his way out. Off the ropes, and Batista hits Bryan with a shoulder, taking him off his feet. They tie up one more time and Batista slaps on a side headlock. Bryan shoots Batista into the ropes and dropkicks his knee. Bryan starts to work Batista’s knee and kicks him while he’s down. Bryan chokes Batista and rams him into the corner to unload more kicks. Bryan ties up Batista’s leg in the rope and hits him with a running dropkick.
Bryan applies a single leg Boston crab on Batista. Batista fights out and kicks Bryan off. Bryan unloads a series of uppercuts and we’re off to commercial.
Back from break, and Bryan battles to his feet. Batista whips Bryan to the corner, but Bryan flips over and out and hits the flying clothesline. Bryan hits a running dropkick on Batista in the corner. He follows it up with one more. Bryan tries for one more, but Batista rolls out to the floor. Bryan heads for the ropes and dives through onto Batista on the floor.
Bryan rolls Batista back inside and hits a missile dropkick. Bryan kips up and starts to unload the Yes! Kicks and lays out Batista. Bryan heads out to the top, but here comes The Authority. Batista trips up Bryan, and he falls out to the floor. Batista follows him to the outside and sends Bryan into the steps. Batista launches Bryan into Orton, seated at ringside. Batista pulls Bryan up to his feet and Bryan nails him with a kick to the head. Here comes Orton and he takes out Bryan for the DQ. Orton’s looking for Batista with an RKO. Batista shoves Orton into Bryan’s running knee! Bryan nails Batista in the corner with a running dropkick. Bryan takes Kane off the apron. Bryan takes to the ropes but Batista is up with a Spear!
Here comes Kane and Triple H. Triple H keeps Kane off of Bryan. Triple H has the mic and tells Bryan he’s tired of his crap and Bryan nails Triple H with a big kick. Batista comes back and lays out Bryan with a Batista Bomb. Triple H hits Bryan with a Pedigree. The show ends with The Authority standing over Bryan.
Follow Evan on Twitter @byrnside.